No I didn’t mean to write god and make a typo. Somebody posted a video on Facebook, titled ‘Wife beating in Islam – Only Rod will help’. This ‘Friday sermon’ was delivered on Qatar TV in 2004. Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI), which deals with issues faced by the Middle Eastern society, included this video to project woman’s condition. Due to my utter ignorance of Arabic, I had to rely on the subtitles. It reads as follows:

“We must know that (wife) beating is a punishment in Islamic religious law. No one should deny this was permitted by the creator of man, and because when you purchase an electric appliance or a car, you get a manual- a catalog explaining how to use it. The creator of man has sent down this book (the Koran) in order to show men which way to choose.”

The sermon continues explaining major ills among women that require beating. The video of this is below:

Now we know. The Quran is a manual for your car or wife. I have seen folks beating on the dashboard when their car won’t start. Once a headlight on my car was out. I hit it a couple of times and it came back. Tried that on my wife when she passed out after a few drinks. It worked but I could not see through one eye for quite some time. Do they say your car might kick you back?

There is this funny story I heard. A village grocer sent his son to town to procure supplies. The son loaded all supplies on the donkey but the animal refused to move. He called his dad. Dad advised to take some ground pepper out of the supplies and rub it on the donkey’s ass. The donkey started running so fast that catching up required the young man to use the same recipe on himself. I think the speaker in this video could use ground pepper if he wants to beat his wife and run away from repercussion.

After a few murderous attacks by terrorists in USA and Europe, cartoonists drew Mohammad and incensed Muslims all over the world. Prominent leaders of faith issued a death-warrant for the cartoonists amidst protests and burning. John Thorkild Ellison wrote this poem:

A Protest against Religious Intolerance (for Kurt Westergaard and Lars Vilks)

Beheading cartoonists? Give me a break!
Remember when witches were burnt at the stake?
In primitive ages when ignorance ruled
The Popes and the Prophets had everyone fooled!
Of course it’s a fact that everyone’s scared
Of a man in the East with a very long beard
And no sense of humour but a heart full of hate
Who’d snuff out compassion ‘cos Allah is great.
Now jihad and fatwa are everyday threats
And weak politicians are hedging their bets
It’s time to take stock and decide what to do
And flush all this nonsense right down the loo!

Syed F. Hussaini, a learned friend commented on the state of Islam.

He wrote,

“The market is ready to welcome new prophets of Islam who could repackage this commodity and sell it to the willing buyers. These new prophets would understand the needs of the market; they would alter, edit and rewrite the scripture and the related material and would not attempt to create distance between the religion and the practice. These new prophets would simply declare ‘the indefensible’ what it is–the indefensible. Out in the West, the customers get what they want; sugar-free candy, Coke Zero, smokeless cigarettes, decaf coffee, fat-free butter. You will be surprised at the number of vendors hawking their brand of violence-free Islam. Life-friendly Islam. Vegetarian Islam. Free-sex Islam. Islam For Gays. The Women’s Islam. No-problem Islam. Personal Islam. Islam for Hindus. Islam for Baptists. Build Your Own Islam. The variety on the shelves will remind you of a vitamin shop.”

When the business of terrorism loses profitability or pain of misery and suffering overrides the itchiness of ground pepper, the new ‘Islam Inc.’ could turn out a public limited company with great prospects.